Pain
by Baekristeen
Summary: Simply how George feels about Fred's death.


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter.**

It hurt.

True, life went on without Fred. But truth be told, no one _really _got over it. Especially not George. He had named his first son after his beloved twin brother, but that wasn't enough. He still hurt.

Fred was his other half, his brother, and his partner-in-crime. The day he had died, George became empty inside. What was even worse was the sudden realization that his twin wouldn't come alive, make a joke about what had happen – not like when George himself had when his ear was cut off. Angelina Johnson – George's wife – had asked countless times if he was alright, and he would give her a smile, and say yes. But she knew better. George didn't stifle his sobs late at night, and he always mumbled his twin's name in his sleep. It broke Angelina's heart as well to hear her husband cry.

The Weasley's had noticed it as well. George's forced smiles, and his tiny laughs were in great contrast to the huge grins and random fits of laughter he had when Fred was still alive, for his brother made jokes with him all the time back then. 19 years since his death, and they all knew the ginger was mourning. They were too, of course, since Molly would go to Fred's grave and break down sobbing, only to be accompanied by Arthur. But everyone knew George had taken it the hardest.

George had kicked himself numerous times for still being hung up on Fred – but deep down, he knew it was natural. His cheerful and mischievous attitude – the one he _shared _with his brother – was long gone. Now, it was a stupid façade that he was sure his friends and family had seen through. What could he do, though? Sure, business was booming at Weasley's Wizards Wheezes, but he ran it with Lee Jordan and his brother, Ron. He had to face the facts – he just _had _to move on.

Sometimes, though, he wished that Fred would come back to life, and he would properly meet Angelina, then they'd try and find a wife for his twin too. George even wished that it was _him _who had died in that explosion, and not Fred. Then again, neither of them would enjoy that. He knew Fred was watching over him in heaven, with Remus and Tonks, but oh – how he wished that his twin was right there next to him.

It was so painful to look in the mirror and see his brother's face and not his own. George looked at the glass with tears in his eyes, that stinging feeling in his heart too familiar than he would've liked. Whenever he saw himself, he thought of Fred. Why was it so hard to get over his twin's death? Hell, he didn't know anymore. He lay in bed, watching silently as his wife slept soundly beside him. The time he spent sobbing in the middle of the night probably woke her up, and his family was smart enough to notice how less-cheerful he had become. The idea of how it hurt _them _only added to the pain in George's heart. So, one day, in an attempt to vent out the depression and sadness –he wrote something on a spare piece of parchment.

_Dear Fred,_

_So, I decided to write this letter – though, I don't know why. I guess to vent, or for some hope that you're still here with me. So many things have changed, but the same amount of different things have stayed the same too. Joke shop's going great, Ron and Lee help me out, but it's still not the same. The two of them don't get the jokes I say, since they were our jokes. Mine and your's. _

_I feel horrible about the fact that I never got to truly say goodbye to you, Fred. We never really said 'I love you' often, but please know that I do love you. So much. _

_Honestly, it's been bloody hard to get through everything without you there, Freddie. I don't laugh and smile like I always used to around you, and I think the others can see it. You should be having fun with Tonks, and Lupin , and Dumbledore's there, too. Always a party with him around. I hope Lupin's not uptight in Heaven – if he is, care to tell him to loosen up?_

_Do you miss me, Fred? Think about me? Or wish that you were here with me? I really hope that you do, because I do. Every second of every day, I think about you. I want to hug you, see you, hear you laugh with me again, and I want to crack jokes and think of new things to sell at the joke shop with you. I miss you so much, I feel empty without you._

_This parchment's almost full, so I'll quit writing now. Just keep in mind that I love you, Fred. _

_Your partner-in-crime, _

_George_

Looking over the parchment, George smiled – not a forced one, a genuine smile. The kind that he thought only Fred could cause him to have. Sure, Fred wasn't there beside him. But, it was as if he could see his brother smiling back at him from heaven.

_Don't forget about me, Freddie,_George thought. _Because I sure as hell won't forget about you. No matter how hard I try. _And so, a final tear slipped down his cheek, and he folded the parchment like he would a letter, sliding it carefully under his pillow. A thought crossed his mind suddenly, and he heard his twin's voice – the voice George missed so much.

_I love you too, Georgie. _


End file.
